A new venture

I wasn't sure what to title this post. It's kind of a series of bad things leading to a good thing. I'll just get right to it. I've been struggling the last few weeks. It's a host of issues but mostly financial issues and me dealing with being a stay-at-home-mom.

I knew money was going to be tight living off of one income. And honestly, we were doing fine until we bought the new swagger wagon. Then things got really tight. We'll be okay, but it requires extra belt tightening that we aren't used to. This amounted to lots of stress on my part because I worry way too much (thanks to my parents for passing that on to me).

Then I'm still trying to get accustomed to staying home with the kids. I love being home with them, but it's harder than people think. I miss the challenges and feelings of accomplishment from working a job. I do make sure the kids have activities throughout the day. But it's not like the kids say, "Hey Mom, good work today." And honestly, many days I feel lost with them. I'm not a teacher by trade, I'm a scientist. I'm constantly questioning if I'm stimulating them enough. For awhile there, I was comparing myself to what they used to do at daycare and that bar was way too high. I've been looking to other SAHM's for guidance and they basically said I need to give myself more time. I've only been doing it for 3 months and I also moved to a different city during that time. One mom said it took her close to 9 months before she felt like she had everything together. And when I really think about it, I am doing a good job and can feel myself getting better. I joined a Mom's group and that has been great. Just about every day there is something to do with them, either having a playdate at the park, a pool party at someone's house or an ice cream social where everyone brings their own topping. It's been fun and the moms I've met are really nice.

So, all this introspection has lead me to believe something is missing from my life. And after much discussion with Andy, I've decided to become an independent sales consultant for Tastefully Simple. I think it's a win-win situation for us. I can work but still stay home with the kids and bring in some extra money to boot. There also doesn't seem to be much downside. I do have some small start-up costs, but I think I could easily make that money back after a few months. So if this ends up not working out like we think, I can always quit and not lose anything. Don't get me wrong though. Being able to quit isn't the frame of mind I'm in. I am really excited and can't wait to get started!